Week 6: 18 - 29 May 2011

I'm reading a captivating book, Return to laughter, written by American anthropologist Laura Bohannan (originally published under nom de plume; Elenore Smith Bowen) who lived among a tribe in Nigeria in the early 50s.

The autobiographical book is is written in a non-academic style and chronicles Ms B's adventures and challenges in trying to "learn" and understand a - completely alien to her - people and their culture. It is incredible how "of the moment" it feels to me, or rather how communication technological leaps notwithstanding, there are still some very basic, common emotions you feel, when landed among a culture different to that with which you are familiar.  It comes down not to the big things, but the tiniest subtleties of (your) accepted conventions. Among many aspects, the US life-styles, etiquette, accent and beliefs are so interesting to me, an opportunity for understanding and learning and clearly there are many similarities between the US and UK cultures.  Yet there are differences seemingly so insignificant, but ingrained, which in sum will leave you feeling that something is "off kilter", but you can't quite put your finger on it.  Over 50 years ago, Ms B wrote words which sometimes - just sometimes - strike home with me:

"But above all else, it was only in the privacy of my hut that I could be my real self. Publicly, I lived in the midst of a noisy and alien life. If I wanted conversation in my own language, I had to hold it with myself. I could escape my cultural isolation only by being alone for awhile every day with my books and my thoughts. It was the one means of hanging on to myself, of regaining my balance, of keeping my purpose in being out here before me, and of retaining my own values."

That may only make sense to those who have been in a similar position - when you're outside you only see the similarities, but when you're inside you feel the differences. That said, I am so fortunate to have this opportunity, to have kind and generous hosts and to be enjoying a multitude of new and unique experiences - and the washing facilities are infinitely superior to those with which Ms B had to live! I am grateful that I don't have to make use of a "canvas bath in the bush" - which has to be "quick and careful" - before the water leaks out, or before you dent the side and the water sloshes away over the top. But what a bath-time view that would be! 

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 Sat 21 May was a gloriously sunny day and saw our home hosting the wedding of an ex-resident to his childhood sweetheart. The staff and residents all worked incredibly hard to make this a very special event for the happy couple, cleaning, decorating and producing lots of delicious food.  Oh and hand-made "favors" courtesy of the "Dismas Dames" :O). The wedding and reception took place in the garden and barring a few last minute neighbourhood dashes to quell noisy lawn-mowing, and a bottle of apple "champagne" left too long in the freezer (oops!) everything went off seamlessly.

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In celebration of the sun (don't get excited - it's disappeared again) I took my toes for a bit of a "Spring Spruce". All a very restful and relaxing experience, till it came to pay. Cue embarrassment and minor outrage (me) and no doubt - incomprehension (Pedicura).  Total bill $60 - luckily I had $66.  Aha - you think I got caught out by forgetting the sales tax? Not so, canny reader. As I handed over the cash, Pedicura said "We can put that on your credit card", to which I responded "No, we can't, I prefer to pay in cash and luckily I have sufficient". Response: "How will you be paying the gratuity - (handing me a printed page) here's a convenient calculation at 20%, we can put that on your credit card". The credit card stayed firmly in the wallet and I handed over all the cash!  Now what was that about cultural mis-understanding?  Unspoken thoughts indeed...

Me

                

Pedicura

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My week ended with a delightful day in Canada, more specifically a visit to Parc Safari with staff member M, Mr M (J) and toddler M. It rained (obviously) but I had a fabulous time!

I still remember well shortly after we moved to the UK, driving through a rain-sodden Windsor Safari Park (remember those crazy chimpanzees who could liberate both wind-screen wipers in 0 seconds flat?). Sunday's experience was similar, although it was a joy to discover that the ubiquitous "Elf and Safety" Nazis haven't as yet reached the outposts of Canada. Which meant we actually drove through the park sitting in the back of J's pick-up truck. Until the rain drove us inside, but still all windows down (until the dribbles and smells became too overwhelming, and yes - that was the animals, not the peeps!). However as you can see, the natives - far from being revolting - were absolutely enchanting!



Thanks Cam, that's the best joke I've heard today!



"You lot sure do look funny squashed in that metal box on wheels!

Mine hosts: J, M and M

 

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Returning to the USA was a repeat of the painful experience I had in April. On leaving, practically begged the officer to take my I94 - that's the card that we (Europeans) are always being urged to ensure is removed from your passport when you depart the country. We had a slightly frustrating verbal tussle during which she was insistent that I needed to keep the I94 "because you will be entering the country in the future".   No dice, I and my I94 left the country together.

Need I tell you that when I returned, her colleague told me that not only should I not have an I94, but in any case I had the wrong kind of entry stamp. Which advice he then revised to I should have retained the I94, because it should only be surrendered for a "significant" departure - no explanation for quite what that is. But I did still have the wrong kind of stamp. LOL.

So, in the UK we have the wrong kind of leaves (on the railway) and in the US we have the wrong kind of leave (on the border).

Leaving you now.

Correctly.